28-29.

Deciding to pen down my thoughts once again.

Lost.

Scrolled through an alley of photos and subtly remembering the time that all flew by.

How’s everybody doing, friends, teachers?

Attached, married or kids that came along? Time flies subtly but reality hits you, little built up changes, nothing’s constant, even the number on our age.

Did got my dream job although not in the dream company but nevertheless thankful for the opportunity that came along.

Did I or am I staying for too long? Is it time to move? Take a plunge and make a change or remain comfortable?

Aimless.

Keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason.

Always reminding myself to be honest and true to myself and whatever I uttered.

Mr. Prince came along, made my heart flutter, made me know what being love and having someone to love feels like, thank you. <3

Now it’s the time of the year once again, recurrent, japanese exams, job shifting.

I have to get it figured out in time on my own.

Lets get going Daphne.

 

thank you and goodbye.:)

I wondered if I ever cross your mind. it’s just the way it is and feels most right at this moment. there’s no moving on. goodbye to the one that once gave you butterflies. that abstract feeling, I have gave up already on. guard your heart. where were you when I needed you most? how long will I love you? perhaps, maybe, its all for the better, will need some time to get used to but will get by mending this abandoned questioning heart. maybe the fault lies in the stars. life’s better when you are you and I am me. history; the passage of time that has passed waiting far too long. time never lies. it obviously didn’t stand the basic test of time, at least effort and initiative failed for the one last dance/chance, you tried, please remember you did. it waivered, it wasn’t there all along.just need to write it all out so that one year on the one year older you reading it would probably think otherwise. we don’t talk anymore, those 12,000 texts where have they all gone. the higher the expectation, the harder the fall. have faith, keep breathing and dreaming you. when seconds felt like minutes, minutes like hours and hours like days. everything and all that you need to know, time will tell, it doesn’t deceive. not going to re-read those messages anymore cause its passed memories now, they are pointless reads. everyday, I fight the urge to text or call you, telling myself that if you wanted, you would. he’s not worth it. you are, he’s too late. its not sustainable, it probably did not even exist, its time to move on. it’s alright, its a lesson learnt, its okay, accept, trust, learn, celebrate and be grateful. life need adventure and a purposeful heart. don’t feel sad over someone who gave up on you cause he first gave up on someone who would have never given up on them. I hope one day you will realize there’s this one that truly cared for you, the one who has always been there, putting up with you, laughing and listening to your singing, refusing to give up on you. And when or if ever that someday ever existed, I won’t be waiting for you any longer. I might have been worthless to you. I am giving up because I realized you never loved me. This is the girl who would have done anything for you, if she could have any other guy in the world she still would have picked you. She kept expecting cause she believed in you but you gave up on her and so now, she has given up on you too. The heart that’s meant to love you will fight for you when you want to give up. goodbyes hurt when the story is not finished and the book has been closed. if you decide to leave someone, at least tell them why because what’s more painful than being abandoned is knowing that you are not worth an explanation. at some point, you will realize that you have done too much for someone that the only next possible step to do is to stop. walk away. it’s not like you shouldn’t try. it’s just that you have to draw the line of determination from sinking desperation. what’s truly yours will eventually be yours and what’s not no matter how hard you try, will never be. I was just another promise that you couldn’t keep. you are and won’t be the reason anymore. at this point in time, its obvious to me that you are a lost cause. I have wasted too much time and energy trying to make it work. So, this is me, moving on and saying goodbye. Jump and you will find out how to unfold your wings as you fall.

thanks for the smiles, for making me smile from ear to ear. the longing for the flight to end faster, the dying desire to know you have completed your papers, the countdown to when or if we ever last till we meet, the wander of knowing what you are doing/having at this moment. the excitement to see the messages coming through, the silly texting, the emoticons, the sharing of daily life, I will miss still now from time to time and today is just one of those days I look back, would need some time to get over it but you must. But you know they say life goes on, the old you will be with me in my dreams. how I would smile like a silly fool just looking at a phone filled with texts from you, those promises you made that never came through, the pact you talked about hastingly. those folly me, I was once cloud-nine and you are the reason for it, all the crazy things we did. First time ever giving out my heart and soul, letting my guards down, everything happens for a reason and I hope for the best for you nevertheless. I will be okay. I hope you won’t do this ever to the other one you found. it’s too cruel, please treasure her. 11.11.16:)

 

#heartisbroken #getbackup

finally really going to be embarking and growing up changes

there has always been a quote that i remembered,
you would be a step closer to your dreams if you decide to pursue those
and what is going to be worthwhile is never going to come easy

so it has been like a whole whirlwind so far,
from getting a step closer to realizing i was that close to loosing it
to crying my hearts out and really realizing what is it that i wanted truly all along right from the beginning
i am really thankful for the support i got from my family and friends when i was feeling the lowest and crying my heart out cause of the chance that i might have lost and never get back again.
the journey and whole process has been a real deal to me and i guess one really grows and learns from it though its the hard through and hard way round. the sleepless nights, the negativity, the lost hopes, the bitterness, that i would never forget.

finally i am embarking on something that i have always wanted to pursue my entire life but never had the courage to, only picturing myself doing this and that and completing proper education.
i am not too sure where this takes me or if is the right decision and all but i am just grateful for the chances to live it in this life.

i never ever felt such gush of mixed feelings, lost words and utter gestures ever the night before, thinking and imaging how it would be really like to live it. watching the drama again the second time felt different from the watching it the very first time.

08/04 (Day 1, Tues) HMM
so that very day came and everything felt so surreal. i was late, my first day, i ran to catch the bus, train, train, ran on foot, the lift and finally through the alley. i was shacked from the sleepless previous night, did not know what to expect and just sat through the philosophy class. it feels the more weird but at the same time amazing that you are really embarking on something you have always wanted to do but at the same time not knowing what to expect next. the seniors who took us through were lij and mik. had hairstyling class and KFC before we headed back for more classes. day went alright and had to write a letter at the end of the day.

[sat with p, j, n]

09/04 (Day 2, Weds) YEA
lij and mik conducted classes in the morning followed by hcar and eimaj. enjoyed the class very much and had a good time only what is the diff between intrinsic and extrinsic. had burger king.
the most exciting day that i have been looking forward to the most. could not believe what i was going to see and saw with my own eyes and being in it, walking through the whole compound just felt amazing like never before, never though i did have the chance to do it. saw alot of things and cleared up some of my curious minds. elated, feels amazing, first time, never going to forget. got home super drained from all the walking and shoes.

[sat with c,c,mq,f…]

10/04 (Day 3, Town, Thurs) MEH
first day of lesson proper language class, not so much excitement like when i first learned the language. lots more to catch up on, went to isetan with f, mq, ws and mer for sushi! had melon milk while mq had milo to warm herself up. class was tiring, felt a little sleepy.

[[SHARE]]

11/04 (Day 4, Town, Fri) YEA
second day of language class was fun, the video, i ate only apples and alot of water are you on a diet with ws, wa fun. had sushi again due to budget with mq, ws and mer. then helped each other with homework, catched up a little bit and dinner at yoshinoya with f2! home with 1f. happy day but tiring but fulfilling at the same time. v?

[[ did better than yesterday ]]

*gonna type like in morse codes now for self-deciphering and own reading purposes
*feels so surreal
*pouring out my feelings

Hai Shi Hui

sometimes, you feel really like breaking down and falling apart,

at the brink of life, you keep asking and pondering why up in your mind

why has it to be me and why now

what have I done

sometimes you feel so helpless and lethargic and feel that your efforts have sum up to be zero

sometimes you no longer know what to do

cause there is nothing much you could do either

seems like the only thing is to let go and give up

even if its your ultimate ambition

sometimes life really throws you with stones and rocks till you break and fall completely apart

but it gets too challenging having to know that you will have to live and be different, feel indifferent and inferior, low from now on.

save me.

I promise to change.

give me another chance.

An eventful 12.12.12

to remember?

to never forget?

haha,

nope, I didn’t get engaged or anything today, not that I got married today or saw some IT on the way to work or anything, it was a day as per usual just that I was happy cause I did get to meet my ex. lecturer and my friends later that night! ;D

I guess 12.12.12 would probably be even more significant to people who are born on this day, at 12am or 12pm, got married that day, had their first kiss that day or are 12 this year lol!

today was just eventful and meaningful!

11.12.12 I made Greek Gondola Pizza for my family and potato croquettes too! ;D

felt so energetic that night before I went to bed, laughed like crazy non-stop because of Part 1 and Part 2 of Running Man, I could not hold my laughter back, the lids of my mouth were widely held tight as I kept smiling and laughing my ass off throughout the show! Kwang Soo oh Lee Kwang Soo!! kekeke

ok, went to bed later that night at 3am I guessed and suprisingly, amazingly got up at 7am that morning on 12.12.12!

wore my brown knitted wear that I got with Steph the other day at Bugis Village with purple spaghetti top! as though it was snowing here in Singapore rofl!

headed to work listening to carassing songs by Lee Seok Hoon! am his fan now! ;D love his ballads and soothening voice!

haha but then… things took a turn…

phewticking and it was really phew phew at 8.54am!

then…

where are the missing documents, did you loose it?

I got so worried and at the same time a little panicky.

my estaticness drop to ground zero.

my heart sank to be honest.

but thanks to my nice colleagues around who brought me some smiles on my face, thank you!

it was pouring right after work as well as I met up with JM at Woodlands to head to Star Vista at Buona Vista to catch up!

Was really heart-warmthing since we finally saw each other after so long.

Headed right home after that and then spoke to mama on her work and chinese translations, I showed her what I had to do and she laughed. hee…

Next up, I should be hitting the beds soon, its 1.47am right now on 13.12.12! ;D

Good Night Peeps! ;D

 

Love, Daphne

This is for my new company Japkor, show you his pictures soon!

Birth Place: Botanical Gardens ;D

And congrats to Cai Foong too! She got engaged today! Weepee! ;D

And so, another weekend zoomed by.

haha fast food weekend really,

ate kfc twice this week, macdonalds once this week, burger king once this week, astons as well and my favourite tom yam jiao zi mi hun kuey at j.east on saturday!

carried 12 books home plus my work notes and my bag home on saturday,

sunday, headed to bugis with stephanie to get christmas presents, ended up spending $117 there!

Here’s the breakdown:

$16 for Turquoise Knitted Wear

$10 for Big Button Brown Knitted Wear

$15 for Boots

$50 for 4 bags

$26 for 2 leather skirts (black and dark maaroon)

it was really a steal for the both of us, we bargained and got cheap deals! so heavy but worth it, we ate BK and went off home after that due to walking alot the whole of today!

zoom, brrooomm, action please!

TADAAhh!!!

Yesterday, I had a funny dream, it was fulfilling? so many people came but I can’t seem to remember anyone that came://

Went over to Joyce’s place on Tuesday (4th Dec 2012) and studied plus had home-cooked family meal by GB clique! :D heee cookieeee omg so cute!!

Joyce said: cookie wants to apologize to all of us lol. rofl.

I headed to get clips/hairpins at the basement at Jurong Point, changed the situation around by calling the girl from afar to collect her change, envied the other lady who had someone but oh well…wo ren ming le!

HAHA the next day, saw a K looking guy after bumping into MX, omg his face was flawleeesss and the half framed black specs!

hahahaa I can’t believe I went over to say Hi even though I looked so shagged and weary that day from work, but I guess I did it, and there is no turning back even if I am starting to regret right now…(it was 5/12/2012)

I saw Yee Mun on the train and caught up with my Senpai! She’s studying Early Childhood right now, haven’t spoken to her probably since we left WWSS.

I met up with pps girls and had steamboat with them at clementi (take 169), just beside Kim’s Korean Family Restaurant near West Coast Plaza (previously known as Ginza Plaza) where Yeye used to bring me to frequent to, it was 7/12/2012.

didnt have much meet-ups this weekend, the previously week was packed!

today, 8/12/2012, I was late for work, overslept, felt that it was warm and breezy, so defintely felt that I was late for sure! after knocking off after a few hours,

I am feeling 22 now too, violin plays better music as the time goes by!

A Pink Rose for him to become your one and only ;) Really?

Godfrey Gao! hahaaa

Saw an uncle that looked like Yeye, I always thought of it, I miss Yeye.

Had a really long dream this morning (8/12/12)

 

headed to Jurong Regional Library and ended up getting 12 books, full fledge book loan, some of the books were to do with the aviation industry, self-improvement as well as language!

love it! <3 gonna start reading it and going to break through, so that when I look back again I won’t have any regrets like how I started Japanese when I was 17, it has been almost 5 years already! Re-igniting my passion!

Did I say, the whole school covered in SNOW, sleet and all, it was appalllinggglyy gorgeous and prettily whitely covered, it was so elegant and beautiful apart from the aftermath, the snowflakes were so beautiful and spectaular, the whitely covered grounds, the chilly weather, the thick woolen clothings, omggg I am falling in love.

My eyes were glued onto the electronic screen (laptop) as I admired the beauty of this places, even the news they reported were on snow and I was so captivated by it still,

no more procastinating, no more procrastinations,

you should feel grateful and appreciative.

haha looking back, here are the shows that accompanied me through my grown up years, probably it was part of you as well if you are born in the 90s’

Here they are:

1. Baywatch

2. Survivor

3. Amazing Race

4. High School Musical

5. Fear Factor

6. Project Runway

7. America’s Next Top Model

8. Tyra Banks Show

9. Rachael Ray Show

10. Cougar Town

11. Charm

I want to buy high boots,

and my new companion, JapKor! ;D

I can’t remember a single word that came out from my dream though :// yet again.

haha aye, still believing in fairytales that  prince charming would come riding in a white horse lol, I am getting too old for all that already, I am feeling 22 soon.

HIROKE, I love Queen and I K drama!!!

Potato Croquette and Gondola Pizza! Gonna try it!

Potato Croquette Ingredients: Mashed Potato, Butter, Sugar, Canned Corn, Chicken, Carrots, Peas, Salt and Pepper to taste

Steps: Just mix the chopped vegetables and ingredients into the mashed potatoes (prior: mix with butter and some salt) and just roll into circles/balls (like Fishballs) and DONE! TADA!!!!!

Instant Gondola Pizza Ingredients:

Garlic, Tortialla, Butter, Salt and Cheese

Steps: Place butter onto heated stove and brown the chopped garlic, then place the tortialla (pre-made/packed) onto the heated pan, turn it over once ready/brown then sprinkle some salt and cheese over and again TADAA!!! Learnt that from Happy Together! The episode where Kim Tae Woo was on it! ;D

Gonna do it!

Weepee!!

And so, she experienced it at last, at least before she turned 22.

And so, this is how she got her first aquaintance, random, sudden, short but afterall its her first time, so you got to give it to her right?

Some words that were stuck in my head since some time ago,

– the world is your oyster!

– KIm tae woo said that his wife now was a scientist by day, someone who puts on labcoat, glasses and bundles up her hair by day but at night, she is totally another person, a really sexy lady who knew how to party and enjoy away.

– Saw a korean show this morning on the importance of carrying Aspirin along especially for your heart.

– Saw a korean talk show on how this lady had to be bedridden to give birth to quadraplets, shows the sacrifice that every lady has to make to be a mum, for her kids.

– Saw Invisible Youth last night, the broadcaster is so handsome! hahaaa screams away***

– MAMA concert in Hong Kong was 2 days back on Friday, 30th Nov, was out so did not catch it, saw the encore today on Sunday, saw Soong Joong Ki and Lee Sang Woo, omg korean guys cant do this really, really cannot do this to us, making us melt all the time, melt away literally omgomg.

– Saw a guy who had a small face big body, big build with plastered arms that seemed like his veins burst due to extreme exercise lol.

– haha one with black big framed glasses from the side view, aww, there is just too many of them looking the same?

– Haha and Byul (Star in Korean)’s wedding seems so sweet!!

I left some footprints, imprints at JCS a few years back, glad that I would still be able to see some of it back again soon, gonna treasure every experience of it, every one that I garner, it is gonna pull me back once again, I need that, my circle of focus and my passion that used to insist of so persistently when I was seventeen back then!

– Had Watami with a new friend, Leong San and my dear classmates Susan San, CY san, PH san! ;D Congrats CY! :)) hearts***

– Haha the service fell short but the waiter had single eyelids lol and look like a growing kstar. (Had it at Central at Clarke Quay)

brings back lots of memories cause I used to eat fish with WL at Hirashi after Jap classes on Saturdays many years back, few years have passed, things have changed but the feeling, aura somehow lingers still aye?

– Spent 22 bucks at daiso for christamasy stuffs and at spotlight for my wooden rafia, finally found it! :)) for the mood and my friends!

– haha had a funny convo with steph today, I told her one part of my secret that is white and single eyelids lol!

thats all for now folks.

I love you daddy! ;D today’s really hectic!

27/11/12

Right after work, the rain was pouring,

I headed down to Tiong Bahru, a stop away was Tiong Bahru Bakery and Orange Thimble was right beside it, beside a wine cellar and fruit shop,

the ambience there is really good! haha but certain areas are non air-conditioned.

haha met up with sam and we exchanged birthday gifts! ;D

on my way home, I saw this person in lighter than navy green colour shirt looking like lee seok hoon of sg wannabe! AWWW, didnt see clearly though, just the huge framed black specs I guess, its really common aye?

today was one hectic day, 28/11/12

daddyy got me shaved ham!

he hardly or never does buy that but he bought it after deciding to give in to my fan call for shaved ham!

 

thanks daddy!!

;D ;D

haha ran in and out of the office and rooms so many time,

visitors, suppliers, coordinating and all,

calling taiwan and china, harbin and wenzhou,

it was really cool knowing that some phoneline somewhere connects you to almost the other end of the world and that there is really really really so many people on earth out there!

scanning, photocopying, typing, calling, running, walking, chatting, haha

i did all of these within the whole work time, non-stop!

ok, today i was walking out of the production area to see a person in black looking like the jing zhou qiu guy, haha small eyes can be really nice too!

i am really grateful, dinner made by mummy was really good, she marinated it since 1pm with lots of sauces on the rack according to what she said, olive oil, dark soy sauce etc, name it lol!

i saw sheue lee on my way to work and verlin off work! gotta send her out p2 photos soon!

i got my favourite canmake blushers too! love love love them to bits!! got them at a cheap price too! weepee!

brings back lots of memories, since I have been using it ever since I started jap classes during poly days, a long long long time ago aye!

;D cya!

Hair cut! ready, set, go!

haha finally chopped my hair to shoulder length after all the contemplation and all, so glad I did it,

had dinner at arirang at bugis, just opposite porn’s cafe with steph, kb, mengxi and ml,

finally the 5 of us together back as one, a great get together right after I knocked off from work on thursday (22nd Nov 2012)!

omg time flies, its 27th Nov, 12.21am now already!

23rd Nov, I headed to meet up with steph and kb right after work at jp for my hair cut at storm! was nice, like my hairdresser alot, vincent looks so much like li jiu zhe!

godfrey was standing behind, it was freaking cool omg fan screams!

24th Nov 2012 was a sat, as soon as I knocked off from work, I went out for picnic with wl, siyi and jm at botanical gardens where we got chased after by some harmless looking black swans, ducks and turtles that had algae covered all over them omg,

haha and I was screaming like mad, enjoyed the company so much, the day was so peaceful until the swan and turtle attack,

so much european features and families there, so picturesque, good enough to be in pictures and magazines, so much of the string spins on trees, plastic balls kicking pass by little kids with blonde hairs, so beautiful and well-grommed dogs, awesome looking view and spectacular sunset, nothing beats that, nothing close!

headed over to Prive (pronounced as pree veh) at Keppel Bay, the view was awesome, cant really see and enjoy much of the view, would prefer to head there in the noon instead, want to try TCC over there sometime soon!

Sunday, I headed to People’s Park for Tim Sum and Taiwanese Food with Daddy and Mummy, daddy was so cute that day, kept insisting on topping his card, his persistence if so cute! daddy, i love you papa! :) went shopping with mummy for shoes at people’s park complex then headed to bugis for more shopping where we got a blazer and a dress,

haha then we went to watsons for last minute shopping:

here’s my shopping cart that day:

Himalayas (Neem Facial Wash, Fruit Mask Pack, Nutrition Pack, Night cream, 5 boxes of nourishing cream in small)

4 packs of Nexcare Male Patch

1 Maybelline Eyeliner (wanted to try clio instead haha but its okie)

4 boxes of melty kiss for christmas presents!

1 koala box of tin biscuits as present!

haha enough it cost more than a hundred already, guess I wont be dropping by watsons so soon anymore! stocked up enough already!

but my 5 times points, not used wisely, since they didnt have anymore stocks for my nourishing cream, they ran out of all of it at the bugis outlet!

but its alright!

and I went home with little brother after work today! and he made me pay for his facial stuffs! tii_tii

some things for myself to jot down and remember to bring my parents to eat at:

Aljunied and Dakota (Old Airport Road) for Tim Sum!

 

this concludes my weekend!

december in less than a week and christmas so soon!

haha and I am starting to get obsessed over Lee Kwang Soo more and Lee Seok Hoon after watching Counsellor’s Room on KBS, he seems so thoughtful like everything he says goes through his mind before he speaks!

Aww.. melting! in progress in my dream lol!

tuddles!

 

I am broke, ps, gotta save money daph!

i got my gears and topped up my petrol already! gonna start my engine!

uhh i remembered that gong yan guo was a shou yi! and they said he was yan yu cause he applied cement to mend the flooring by just padding the wet cement over lol when he should be swapping against the floor to ensure everything is layered nicely and evenly as well!

tuddles!